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I can’t be happy enough, I can’t be grateful enough. For the new discovery of the world, with the same message shared repetitively. We are human, always the inspirations slipped off our soul. Lupita Nyong’o, I watched the 12 Years a Slave and she is just as wonderful. Pardon me if it sounds like an obsession to you, but I count it as one of my highest gratitude that my work as a portrait photographer allow me to discover ‘beautiful women’. For whatever they feel good about themselves, no one can take that away from me, no human.

What it is a big deal about me to discuss this topic is because, it is all about self loved. As a Muslim, I belie that for every single inches of our body, created by our Allah. We breathe the air, we eat the food, we drink the water, we step on the ground. The health that we get, is nothing to compare to any material value that we can imagine.

The longer I learned about self loved, it is all together sum up to one word, GRATEFULNESS. Tell me how are you calling yourself grateful if for the slightest inches expand on your body, due to the food we eat and not starving, is a disaster to you. For worrying not being able to fit into the most expensive dress in our wardrobe. Or rather, for the talent hidden in our body and soul, we deny the skill given to us by the Creator with the different way of thinking from the other people, by thinking short about ourselves. That we are not good enough, that we are not smart enough and continuously comparing ourselves to the next person.

Every single time I write about this issue, or thinking about it, it is always a huge reminder for me to keep my foot on the ground and raise my hand praying and thankful for the beauty and brain He gives me. How I wish to reach to every possible women out there to share my vision, that feeling good about ourselves is an act of being grateful for the love from the Creator. However, we are human, in is our nature to forget, to feel frustrated, to feel angry and not being able to think straight most of the time, unless we keep on praying that we are under His grace. Forgive ourselves for the act that we did wrong, for the food we eat more that the calculated calories for the ideal body weight, forgive ourselves for feeling bad when we don’t have a fair skin like others.

The speech that I believe becoming a great inspirational story to share with every women, is to me an act of being grateful for who we are.

“No matter where you are from, your dream are valid.” – Lupita Nyong’o

Modern Women Portraiture


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If this is your first time reading my blog, my mother passed away last year. She had a  stage four breast cancer. When my mother was really sick, I can’t even bring myself to pickup my camera and focus. I knew when I am seeing her through my lens, the moment will be frozen. I will be in my own world getting the moment, waiting for the perfect image to click my shutter. Because that is what the photographer do. The truth is, I didn’t want to lose the time that is real by seeing her live that very moment. I don’t even want to miss the slightest move, a single word from her. It is too precious to me for wasting to see it through the lens. It was too much pain for me to watch or even to keep the image of her in pain lying in bed, so I decided.

When the right moment to photograph her when she was healthy, with her biggest smile or laughing out loud. But I don’t have that photos. I missed that time and now she is gone and I don’t have that photo of her.

When along the way in finding my direction, I found the path in my photography, I am now a portrait photographer that photograph women more than half of my shots. It is alright if you don’t like my work or I am not good enough for you, because I know I am not the best photographer and some many other legendary and great photographer out there. But find your courage, to sit for a portrait session, embrace life and who you are right now. Because, I am the younger generations that want to look at you when you are no more in this world. And I want the younger generations to know how I look like and how I celebrate my life.

I know my purpose, I know what I want to give to you. One women at one time, share your story, because the world want to hear you. I want the world to hear me.

We are modern women. We are strong. We are inspirational. We are more than good enough.

french african women

Marie, shaved her head to almost bald to support her best friend who went through chemotherapy.


Dorotha concious of her wrinkles before and saying out loud she is proud to be in her 50s after this portrait.


Cinzia kept avoiding camera for years for not feeling comfortable with her look before.


Fay is fabulous at 50 with grown up daughters.


Nik Husni, Padma & Siow Fei survived breast cancer treatment & emotional roller coster.


My Last Days: Meet Zach Sobiech



Cancer, the word that associated with my life very closely. I came across a story about Zach and his life before he passed. It was beautiful and reminding me of the reason why I should not live the life and love the life.

Live our life. Be happy, be grateful and keep loving.



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Lana is a mother and a businesswoman. An Australian with a Moroccan root. Found peaceful through the ugly of what she actually thought, but knowing that everything happen for a reason, she knows that the ugliness was actually made things fall perfectly into places. From the hardness she found strength.

From Lana:

Last year was the most painful yet of my 36 so far. Things happened to me that I never imagined ever would or possibly could. But, as we’ve certainly all been reminded at one point or another – worse things can happen & there is a reason for all that does.

Moving on I know there is actually so much beauty in my life that when taken as a whole I realise I am one of the most blessed people I know. Isolating the inevitably ugly bits of one’s life may inadvertently blind us to the overwhelming beauty that makes up most it. The ugly can be very painful, yes, & horrid. But, in everything & everyone the potential for beauty or seeing it exists. And, sometimes it takes ugly things to create opportunities for beautiful things to flow forth.

I realised to be beautiful when it’s hard to be is the true test of a pure heart. One of my favourite Prophetic sayings goes, “God is beautiful & He loves beauty”. Finally recognising that God is the ultimate source of beauty was one of the most liberating things in my life. I realised that I didn’t have to do a single thing alone, especially during painful times. There was so much turmoil but I needed peace in my heart. He is Peace. So, I held God to His word &, among many other things, I sought a forgiving heart from the All-Forgiving God He says He is. It’s hard to forgive when there is so much pain, but how can forgiveness come without a mistake in the first place? How to be kind when one has been slighted? It’s easy to be kind to people who don’t upset you. Its rising above ugliness through beautiful ways. Then, one beautiful thing leads to another – breaking the cycle of ugliness.

Truly getting to know Him & myself will facilitate my struggle, through all life’s challenges, for a sincere & pure heart – a life long journey. We were created to do beautiful things & God loves those who do. It’s easier when you know where the beauty lies.

Makeup: Sandra of Bobby Brown


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